A Wedding Homily

Tobit 8:5b-8
Psalm 67:1-7
Colossians 3:12-17
John 15:9-15

As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:9-15)

A Wedding Homily
The Rev. Dr. Bill Stroop, Rector

During the meetings we had, __________ and __________ came prepared to plan their wedding worship service. In the Book of Common Prayer, from which our service today comes, there are several suggestions for scriptural readings that the framers of the book felt were appropriate to the occasion. I am sometimes surprised by the readings chosen. Sometimes it is a huge challenge for me to find connections between the couple and the readings they have chosen for their wedding. But not so, today.

Sometimes the lessons for the day get lost. That’s not surprising because a wedding is an occasion of great joy. But the scriptures are chosen by the couple, and they reflect the sensibility and character of them as individuals and as a new couple. In a very real sense, the scripture they choose is an advertisement of their theology; their beliefs about God, and the importance of God to them.

And listen to what __________ and __________ chose. From Tobit, one of the Apocryphal Books of the Bible, we hear the prophet blessing the God of all creation and thanking God for the gift that he sees in his bride. He asks God for mercy and prays that they may grow old together. Not only is that sincerely romantic, it speaks of the centrality of God in the relationship. And as I became familiar with __________ and __________, that is how I came to see the centrality of God in their separate lives and their new life together.

Perhaps especially appropriate for a mature couple is the reading from Colossians. Here, the writer of the letter gives the church in Colossae godly advice about how to get along with one another. The writer emphasizes the importance of forgiveness, the necessity of giving thanks to one another and to God for one’s blessings, and the indispensability of love to relationship. Finally, the reading from the Gospel of John reinforces the notion that the love we can share for each other in this life is a mirror of the love God has for us now, and that we will enjoy when we are reunited with God.

The readings all emphasize the goodness, the greatness, and the creative energy of God. And we come together in this Holy place to celebrate God, and to acknowledge God’s love and our love of one another as the instruments of God’s power to transform us.

The circumstances and process of falling in love, of becoming committed to each other, and to letting that commitment become manifest in marriage involves a profound transformation and reordering of our lives. And to mark that ongoing work of transformation, the man and woman make vows to one another and to God – indicating their desire to follow a new path.

Marriage also acknowledges the importance of community to the personal processes of transformation. The first miracle story in the Gospel of John refers to the wedding in Cana of Galilee. As you recall, Jesus went to Cana, a small village west of Capernaum, to attend the wedding of someone who was probably his relative. When they ran out of wine, Jesus’ mother prodded her son to do something about it, whereupon Jesus turned the water in six stone jugs into very fine wine for their guests. In a little while, __________ and __________ will symbolically recall that for us, as they serve the communion wine to you, their guests at their wedding feast.

Marriage calls the bride and groom to move from where they to what they can become. As __________ and __________ discovered from our counseling sessions together, they are quite different from one another. But beneath the differences in personality types and temperaments, they both sense God at the center of their lives. And they know that power of the Holy Spirit is central to their merged life together. As their new love for one another binds them together, their collective life experience will help them understand so much about the links between love and forgiveness. They wisely know that love given and accepted in gratitude will bind them together in perfect harmony.

Love creates new things out of old things, transcends differences, and heals deep wounds from the past. And it is love that prompts these two people to come to this place, surrounded by their friends, family, and supporters as they join to one another as husband and wife.

In the presence of this community, and in the sight of God, through the action of the Holy Spirit, __________ and __________ will make a new creation today. They will create a “We.” The “We” is larger and more complex than a “you” and a “me.” When two people create a “we” they lose a bit of themselves as they birth their “We.” The “We” that emerges today will be a living entity that is totally dependent on the care and nurture of __________ and __________ to flourish. The “We” is something they are responsible to.

Deep love implies three things: the lover, the person who is loved, and the bond of love uniting them both. The “We” is the living Spirit of that bond of love. It is the incarnated presence of God. It is that spiritual “We” that we recognize in this ceremony and that the church blesses.

In creating their “We,” __________ and __________ willingly give away their freedom. In exchange, they willingly take each other’s burdens onto themselves. They bind their lives together as they set each other as a seal upon their hearts.

They will still both have their lives apart as well as a life together, and they will continue to figure out how to merge their individual household goods into one home environment. And through the struggle of adapting their mature ways to each others wants and needs, they will we enriched by the “We” created by the process and that accompanies them in their lives together. And, with God’s help as the third party, and the firm foundation upon which the new relationship exists, the “We” will continue to change and develop as their life together grows.

__________ and __________, it is our wish for you that you always remain steadfastly aware of the presence of God in your relationship. We pray that you will always be aware of the foundation God has provided to you in your new life together as you face the challenges and experience the blessings that life brings to you in the years to come. God be with you and with the “We” that you and God have created together. Know also that your St. George community is here in Christ to support you, and love you, in your new life together.

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Tobit 8:5b-8

Tobias began by saying, “Blessed are you, O God of our ancestors, and blessed is your name in all generations forever. Let the heavens and the whole creation bless you forever. You made Adam, and for him you made his wife Eve as a helper and support. From the two of them the human race has sprung. You said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; let us make a helper for him like himself.’ I now am taking this kinswoman of mine, not because of lust, but with sincerity. Grant that she and I may find mercy and that we may grow old together.” And they both said, “Amen, Amen.”

Psalm 67:1-7

1 May God be merciful to us and bless us, *
show us the light of his countenance and come to us.

2 Let your ways be known upon earth, *
your saving health among all nations.

3 Let the peoples praise you, O God; *
let all the peoples praise you.

4 Let the nations be glad and sing for joy, *
for you judge the peoples with equity
and guide all the nations upon earth.

5 Let the peoples praise you, O God; *
let all the peoples praise you.

6 The earth has brought forth her increase; *
may God, our own God, give us his blessing.

7 May God give us his blessing, *
and may all the ends of the earth stand in awe of him.

Colossians 3:12-17

As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

John 15:9-15

As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

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